Audio-Blog

Wired for Love: Can the science of 'love at first sight' help me stop my relationship from becoming drab and boring?!

19/2/2015

The Science of Successful Relationships –
If you’re looking for love that lasts forever, here‘s a question for you!

The Question for DrAlex:
Dr Alex, I really want to know something: is love at first sight real? I fell in love with my wife the very first time I set eyes on her and we’re still very happily married 40 years later! Some people say that’s nonsense, other people say ‘well look at you, you prove it!’

Taking the 'Pedestrian' Out of Your Relationship

"It's really interesting to me - and somewhat disappointing - that when people get together in relationships, they often decide on how it's all going (just) by how well they 'get on' in normal functions of life.

Functional norms, routine tasks, whether they like to do the same things. Which is helpful, but really rather drab!! Taking that approach you risk turning your relationship into something of a 'construct' - an interaction that you inadvertently manufacture to fit with 'norms' and 'social narratives'. An operation. A programme!

There is SO much more that can pull two people together within relationships. By focusing on - and deliberately, actively nurturing - the stuff that makes for a bottomless pit of potential for core inner happiness, fun, excitement, depth, amazing feelings, rich emotions, sparks. And, importantly, the stuff that makes for meaningful personal evolution... that keeps you both growing as individuals, and as a couple... and so prevents you from stagnating in, and growing disillusioned by, your routines.

'Inner core stuff'... be it a Richter of spiritual resonance, or a core connection that's difficult to pin down... can infuse a relationship and 'stick you together' - in a powerful but flexible, meaning-rich way. Apart from all that, there's also science which tells us about the types of biological glue that can add to the mix and help underpin that successful, dynamic relationship!

(FYI, the science of the brain biology of individuals in gay relationships may not work in quite the same way as how we discussed it on the show!)"
dralex

Here’s what we focused on:

How a love like this that lasts for decades may combine those early ‘love chemicals’ with an inner core resonance
How the brain is wired for love, and how that biological glue works!
The science of different manifestations of love – lust, romance and attachment
How, biologically, we move through different phases of love – and why often we can’t readily run them at the same time!

And then we moved to the psychological glue – and the nature of different types of functional, psychological and spiritual bonds.

Dr Alex answered this question on on ‘The Best People We Know Show’ hosted by Deb Scott - our second Valentine's Gift for you!

Listen to the segment here.
Or Download the segment to your mobile device.

And it was all about GLUE!! YES, glue!

Dr Alex put forward her ideas about how ‘The Ultimate Glue’ may combine different types of glue - biological glue, psychological glue & spiritual glue - and 'love & resonance bonds' to hit the Richter on the Lifetime-Love Manifesto.

The Key Issues Behind This Question:

Biology, psychology and spirituality!
Bonds, and brain wiring.
Core resonance.
Lust, romance and attachment.
Interest, intimacy and inner connection.
And glue – a lot of glue!

There’s lessons here for everybody – whether you’re still looking for love, or just starting out in a new relationship, or are in an established long-term partnership.

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I've Been Married Before... How Can I Make Sure The Next Relationship Is A Raging Success?!

10/2/2015

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What if you’ve been married a few times, and it hasn’t worked out? How can you make sure your Next Big Relationship is the great success you've been yearning for?!

The Question for DrAlex:
Dr Alex, I’ve been married three times, not sure what’s gone wrong but for all of them it wasn’t anything dire… it just didn’t work out. Now I’ve met someone I’m really fond of, no great shakes. I think it’s a go’er, and we could get really good together.

I feel I should be asking about whether you think this relationship is a go’er but actually what I want to know is: do you know, have there been studies, that tell you what people did to get it right in the end?

Dr Alex answered this question for RadioRescue on ‘The Best People We Know Show’ with Deb Scott as a Valentine’s Special…

Listen to the segment here

This question is for you if you’re one of the many people who have had a number of big relationships and are looking for insight for the next one… which you hope will last AND be everything you're dreaming of! And why not...

"So many people assume their next relationship will be that much less of a tummy-churner, and that much more tricky... and yet as you get to know yourself more through life and living, you have a wonderful chance of achieving the relationship that really enables you to hit the heights you've always dreamed of, both as an individual and as a member of a far-more-richly resourced 'twosome'!"
dralex

The Key Issues Behind This Question:
Setbacks, successive relationships, accumulating complexities, disappointments, despondency. Getting it right, behaviours, inner knowledge, personal evolution and ‘manifestation of self’ in relationships (compared with relationships as simple transactions).
Choices. Empowerment. Clarity.
Asking YOURSELF Tough Questions!
And: the science of (eventual) relationship success...

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Wired for Love: Can the science of 'love at first sight' help me stop my relationship from becoming drab and boring?!

The Science of Successful Relationships –
If you’re looking for love that lasts forever, here‘s a question for you!

I've Been Married Before... How Can I Make Sure The Next Relationship Is A Raging Success?!

What if you’ve been married a few times, and it hasn’t worked out? How can you make sure your Next Big Relationship is the great success you've been yearning for?!

The Blodcaster

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Wired for Love: Can the science of 'love at first sight' help me stop my relationship from becoming drab and boring?!

The Science of Successful Relationships – If you’re looking for love that lasts forever, here‘s a question for you!

I've Been Married Before... ﻿How Can I Make Sure The Next Relationship Is A Raging Success?!

What if you’ve been married a few times, and it hasn’t worked out? How can you make sure your Next Big Relationship is the great success you've been yearning for?!

The Blodcaster

Categories

Archives

The Science of Successful Relationships –
If you’re looking for love that lasts forever, here‘s a question for you!

I've Been Married Before... How Can I Make Sure The Next Relationship Is A Raging Success?!